THE turkey’s been devoured, Christmas jumpers are back in the wardrobe and in-laws have been seen off – rather like Step 3 defences in the case of a trio of big winners in my Non-League New Year Honours List.
It’s that time again when I recognise the grass-roots game’s finest for their efforts during the calendar year, and while it’s difficult to add the superlatives I’ve used in recent seasons to describe my old team-mate JOHN FRENDO, I’m going to attempt it here.
The 28-year-old is the reigning Non-League Paper Golden Boot winner thanks to his 42 league, FA Cup and Trophy goals in a total of 44 for Hitchin during 2012-13, and for years he’s been known to supporters of his clubs as ‘Lord’ Frendo.
You can buy a title like that online for as little as £18.95 (try lordtitles.co.uk if you’re interested).
But the only currency that guarantees a Non-League knighthood is prolific performance, and with 40 goals in 52 starts during 2013 for Hitchin and the Saints, Frendo fully deserves a new title, so Arise, Sir John Frendo!
Seven miles west along the A4147, BEN MACKEY gets the first of two MBEs handed out as a Man Bagging Easily, this term with Calor Premier table-toppers Hemel Hempstead, whose gaffer DEAN BRENNAN is rewarded for the Tudors having netted 119 goals already this season with a Manager Born Entertainer accolade.
Like Frendo, Mackey had been a regular scorer just below the top levels of Non-League for a number of seasons now with the likes of Brackley and Leamington.
In 2013, he’s actually scored three more than Frendo – but for three different clubs, with seven coming for St Neots and another seven for Stourbridge before his summer move to Vauxhall Road, where he had 29 in 31 games before yesterday.
Completing the hat-trick of goal aces is LEON METTAM, who has 34 this term for Evo-Stik Northern Premier League high-fliers Worksop Town.
He scored 23 last season, but the Tigers’ captain managed just seven of that haul after the turn of the year, so has 41 to his name for the calendar year with another hat-trick in the 5-2 Boxing Day win over Ilkeston.
The ex-Lincoln, Stamford, Corby and Gainsborough forward is being rewarded with one of a pair of MBEs for the Nottinghamshire club, with boss MARK SHAW also picking one up for the entertainment factor.
Worksop’s 25 league games so far have produced 132 goals, with 77 scored and 55 let in. That cavalier approach is something we at The NLP like!
The antithesis to that award goes to Cambridge United, where CHRIS MAXWELL has been in outstanding form this season. Using his native Welsh language, keeper Maxwell gets a CBE as a Ceidwad (not) Beaten Easily for his record with both Wrexham and the U’s while on loan from Fleetwood in 2013.
He rejoined the Dragons last January, kept a clean sheet on his second Reds debut at Forest Green on February 2 and has carried on in the same vein ever since, recording 15 shut-outs in 23 league games for Skrill Premier leaders United, plus two in four FA Cup ties.
On the managerial front, I’d love to give TOMMY LAWSON another title for his work at Skelmersdale United – but he’ll have to settle for the Evo-Stik NPL Division One North one he added to the knighthood I handed him a year ago. Another could follow in 2014 with his Skem side currently top in their first season at Step 3.
Winner of the same league last season, BILLY HEATH, is recognised for the wonderful job he’s done at North Ferriby United with a CBE.
In 2013 the marching band have been playing to the main man’s lead, with Champion Billy an ‘Ero to the Church Road faithful for steering them to NPL Premier Division success with 13 wins and four draws from their 18 league games in 2013.
This term, not only have they consolidated a play-off spot with 11 wins and three draws from their 19 Skrill North games, they are also through to the last 16 of the FA Trophy.
In the same division, ex-England C international MARCUS BIGNOT gets an MBE – Moors Boy Emerging – for steering unfashionable Solihull Moors to the top of the table.
They started 2013 in 13th, finished last season ninth and this term are neck-and-neck another winner – ROB SMITH – who gets a CBE as a Canny Boss (re)Emerging, kickstarting Hednesford Town in the same way he did AFC Telford by winning promotion to Step 2 and proving a force once there.
Bromley’s MARK GOLDBERG gets an OBE as an Old Boy (re)Emerging for taking the Ravens to the Skrill South summit in his third spell as boss, after kicking off the year with just goal difference keeping them out of the relegation zone.
While similarly in the Skrill Premier, KEVIN WILKIN at Nuneaton, ALAN DEVONSHIRE at Braintree and NICKY LAW at Alfreton are recognised with OBEs for Over-turning Bad Expectations, each going into 2013 fearing the exit through the division’s trapdoor, but ending it dreaming of unlikely promotion. Special mention also goes to NEIL ASPIN, MIKEY HARRIS and JAMIE DAY for the way their newly-promoted FC Halifax, Salisbury City and Welling United teams have taken to top-flight football, too.
But my final honour is delivered to Creasey Park, home of Dunstable Town who romped to the Spartan South Midlands championship as Invincibles last season. They have lost just twice on their return to the Calor Central, winning 12 league games in a row before Thursday’s goalless draw at Royston.
Joint managers DARREN CROFT and PAUL REEVES are not only the Dons of the Duns – they can now add CBE to their names as a Couple Bossing Everything!
Happy New Year one and all!
You can read Stuart Hammonds’ column every Sunday in the Non-League Paper.