IT WAS whoever flogged Del Boy those dodgy Albanian radios, that’s who’s to blame! Margate has never really recovered from Derek, Uncle Albert, Rodney and the rest of the Jolly Boys rolling into town.
From the moment their coach burst into flames during that priceless 1989 Only Fools And Horses Christmas special thanks to a hooky stereo, the seaside town and its much envied tourist trade has gone up in smoke.
Once a thriving haven for holidaymakers looking for fun, fish and chips and a sandy beach to spend a long weekend on, those good times have been replaced by a ghost town.
Margate’s iconic Dreamland amusement park, a symbol of the Kent town’s laughter-filled glory days, stands derelict and decaying.
Every kid’s favourite summer getaway is now reduced to visits from those who like to wallow in nostalgia.
Until now, its football club has followed a similar path. Since falling from the Conference a decade ago, things have gone into decline.
In 2005, relegation from the newly-formed Conference South hit the club hard. Eight years on, not a single season of flirtation with promotion from the Ryman Premier has seen this famous Non-League name start to stagnate.
But unlike the town, someone has actually stepped forward with something much needed; a restoration plan.
Chairman Bob Laslett, a 67-year-old businessmen and former Wolves director, has big ideas and a chequebook large enough to finance them.
But if you believe the rich often don’t know what they’re doing when it comes to football, think again.
His first job as chairman after taking over last December was to pick up the phone to Terry Brown, a man who knows how to bring a club back to life. Appointment secured within days.
Well, if clubs will insist on calling sizeable investment a “project” then the very least you need is a good teacher.
“I think it is fair to say Margate as a town is probably at its lowest point at the moment,” said Brown, who helped AFC Wimbledon fulfil their fairytale by guiding them into the Football League in May 2011, nine years on from the Dons starting from scratch in County League football.
“You only have to walk around the town to see what a lovely place it is, and understand the potential that remains for getting it back to what it was with a bit of regeneration. Like everything, that needs money and time.
“I know they are looking to do Dreamland up again, and hopefully that would just be the start. Everyone knows the history of the place and how great it was back in the day. Wouldn’t it be brilliant if it was given a new lease of life?
“What Bob is looking to do here is build a stadium and a club that Margate can be proud of. I think if we can get it right over the next few years then that will go a long way to generating a good feeling around town, getting it excited again.
“Sometimes that kind of positivity starts with football. Look at what great FA Cup runs do to places, it brings something out of towns and cities. Hopefully it could be the kick-start the area needs.”
There’s little benefit in sugar-coating it, Margate have spent big this summer.
But they have also spent well. Luke Moore – a Football League standard attacker – has joined after serving Brown so well at Wimbledon. They’ve also recruited some of the Ryman League’s best assets for their assault on the division.
Kane Wills, the highly thought-of Bognor Regis midfielder, is a coup, as is Kingstonian‘s Ryan Moss, scorer of 25 goals in their league last term.
And last week they served notice of their intentions. Out-playing and embarrassing Brown’s former club AFC Wimbledon, preparing for a tilt at League Two promotion. They won’t accept it, but that 3-0 victory would already have rivals fearing they have a job on their hands.
You can’t read too much into pre-season but you can gauge a mood. The best part of 800 people could see they are clear favourites for the Ryman Premier title before a competitive ball has been kicked.
But Brown will turn 62 a few days before the start of the new season – too long in the tooth to listen to the word on the street.
“When I look back to my Aldershot days then look back to my years at Wimbledon, everyone wanted to beat both clubs,” he said. “A lot of that was down to the crowds of course, and that’s something I think will follow through to here as well.
“It’s more relevant in the Ryman League than anywhere else. It tends to dissipate in the Conference South a bit because you have better sides and bigger clubs, but the Ryman League is full of honest amateur players – honestly, this is the hardest league to get out of, and I am talking from experience when I say that.
“Getting Aldershot out of this league was a massive struggle. Wimbledon fans will tell you about how difficult it was as well – three years it took a club getting well over 3,500 through their gates every week, and when we did go up, it was only through the play-offs. We were losing the final to Staines Town with three minutes to go. We got lucky, but we got out.
“It’s not always about being able to play nice pretty passing football, it’s about going to Billericay on a Tuesday night and matching them for their effort and desire. Can we do that? I hope so.
“I’m under no illusions as to how big this task will be because I know the league, the players and managers in it. It’s not always about the size of your bank balance.”
Plans on the pitch and off it, too. Deal-born Laslett has designs on transforming the club’s modest Hartsdown Park into something special.
He is in the process of securing permission from Thanet Council for a hotel on the site, with hope of turning the ground into one of Kent’s finest football arenas.
There are Football League ambitions on the pitch – but the experienced manager is mindful that for a club that has never boasted massive numbers, they do need to sell themselves.
Brown, working alongside trusted assistant Stuart Cash once again, added: “There are a lot of chimney pots around here, and we have got to be producing a winning side that will draw people in.
“The public want to watch winning football and if we can build that momentum then we’ve got a good chance of boosting crowds and getting them to stick with us.
“The players we have here now have been earmarked since December, when we came in. I had all my business done by May.
“How far can the club go? I’ll be careful what I say. The side at the moment is financed by one man and providing Bob is enjoying it and gets the reward that his money deserves, then it can go as far as he wants to take it.
“I know it’s not always about the coaching or the management. Yes, that’s important, but then it’s about the recruitment. You need money to recruit.
“I’ve managed to bring in the best in the Ryman and if I look at the teams on the top of most leagues, let’s be honest, it’s the teams more often than not with the most money.
“To go through the leagues you need a young side. Our average age is 24 – if you kick Jamie Stuart out!”
Forget this time next year them being millionaires. Brown has already got them feeling – and playing – like a million dollars!
