Ridley column: Harmony will grow if referees are allowed to admit to mistakes

By Ian Ridley
BEFORE a season begins, the Football Association issues clubs with a number of booklets for distribution to players. They called their publication ‘Player Essentials’.
It details their responsibilities and covers a variety of areas, starting with on-field matters and behaviour expected (the biggest section), anti-doping, betting and social media.
At the first home game, as vice-chairman and the director overseeing media, I took it upon myself to speak briefly to the Salisbury FC players about the booklet, asking them to absorb its contents.
I particularly urged them to beware social media, reminding them that tweets and Facebook postings are public, often followed by supporters, and can leave them open to personal abuse and disciplinary action.
Tempting as it is to respond angrily to fans, opposition comments and perceived poor officials sometimes, they should think twice before hitting the send button. I hoped also they would take notice of the section about referees and the need to show respect. The relationship is, after all, a cornerstone of the game, particularly at National League and below, where officials are not earning the sums of Premier and Football League officials. No referee, no game.
Now, I have always been a defender of officials. I ghost-wrote the autobiography of the former elite level referee Mark Halsey, called Added Time, and saw the stresses and strains he endured, particularly having to deal with cancer on top of criticism from players and fans.
And that criticism happens at every Step, no matter how good the referee. From the Championship down, you hear the quote: “The trouble with refs at this level is…”
I’ve also acknowledged the wry truth of the American basketball coach who once suggested that the trouble with referees is that they just don’t care who wins.
That, though, is the luxury of the neutral. The trick when you’re involved with a club, either inside it or as a fan, is to show the same sang-froid and respect when things go against you and directly affect what you and your club have been working for.
This early season, I have seen some good refereeing performances and some poor ones. Referees are no different from players; they make mistakes, they have bad days. All you can hope is that they get the big decisions right.
What did cause me to shake my head, however, was a recent game where an assistant referee was talking to the back four he was patrolling. “Nice header son,” and “Good tackle,” he was heard to say. In addition, the referee in the same match was addressing one side by their first names, having obviously officiated them before.
These little things come under the heading of ‘game management’ and are often used by referees, especially when they are being assessed, to control the match. Familiarity can, the reasoning goes, keep a lid on things.
Over-familiarity can also breed contempt, however, and can appear to opposition fans as bias. In Non-League, a referee and assistants’ running commentary can usually be heard clearly, unlike at bigger stadia.
At that same game, the referee concerned just would not listen to some players wanting to discuss a point with him, during or after the game, no matter how respectful they were. Instead, they were met with a stony face or contemptuous gesture of being waved away as if an errant child.
All players, managers and supporters want is consistency; of decisions yes, but also treatment. If a player is going to be booked for celebrating a goal with fans, for example, it needs to happen everywhere. And the same for both sides in how players are addressed, home or away.
I am all for respect towards referees and their assistants – and apologies afterwards should players or club officials’ reactions fall short of standards expected in the heat of battle.
It is a two-way street, however. For greater harmony, referees also need to show respect and examine their own conduct.