FOOTBALL UNITES TO HONOUR THE MEMORY OF A LEGEND
THREE days before Chris Barker took his own life on New Year’s Day 2020, he met Rhys Evans for dinner.
“He was just… Chris,” says Evans, who forged a lasting friendship with Barker when the pair shared a flat whilst playing for Southend United in the 2010-11 season.
“Upbeat. Good company. He was a little bit down about a couple of things, but not to the extent that you feared for him. Not in any shape or form.
Like anybody in that situation, I’ve been tormented by the thought of ‘Should I have seen something? Should I have done more? Should I have asked what was wrong?’.
“But there was just nothing. No hints. No warning. And even if I had spotted something, I don’t think he was the kind of guy who would have opened up anyway. If I’d pressed him, he’d probably have just got a bit annoyed and told me to p*** off.”
Evans’ bafflement is shared by everyone who knew Barker. As a player, he spent a decade in the Championship as a deceptively skilful centre-back for the likes of Barnsley, QPR and Cardiff City.
Later, in three seasons at Roots Hall, he became a cult figure, totemic captain and multiple player of the year. Nothing fazed Barker. He wasn’t bothered about money, or expiring contracts.
When Richie, his older brother, pictured inset right, and the current assistant to Paul Warne at Rotherham United, badgered his sibling to plan for retirement, Barker just shrugged.
“Don’t worry, I’ll do something,” he said, cheerily. And he did, settling into a coaching role at Forest Green Rovers with characteristic ease.
Mindset
“If you were to line up all of the people in my life, Chris would be right at the back when it comes to doing what he did,” says Evans. “It was probably the biggest shock of my life.”
Richie was preparing for a game with Rotherham when he received a call from one of Chris’ closest friends.
“He said to me ‘Do me a favour mate, give your Chris a call. I haven’t spoken to him in three days and that’s unheard of ‘.”
Over the next three hours, it gradually transpired nobody else had heard from Barker, who was living alone in his adopted home city of Cardiff. Later that day, the 39-year-old was found in his garage, with a coroner recording a verdict of suicide.
“Even now, it’s hard to accept,” says Richie. “He’d come to ours for Christmas and was in great form.
“I even spoke to him three days later, just after we’d played a game at Shrewsbury. We went top of the league and he was chatting away about the game.
“It was all normal stuff. About his job. His daughter, Demi. He’d just bought a new car, an Audi or something, and he was saying to me how it would last him ten years.
“I’ve spoken to so many of his friends since and they all say the same thing. We just didn’t have any idea.”
Like so many who suffer in silence, Barker showed few outward signs of distress and was unwilling – or unable – to talk about his problems.
On Saturday, changing that mindset will be the focus of a Game for Barks, a charity match at Roots Hall to raise money for Mind, a mental health charity.
Organised by Chris Phillips, chief sports reporter for the Southend Echo, the clash sees a squad of former Southend players take on a side consisting of Barker’s team-mates from other clubs.
Evans will manage a Shrimpers team featuring the likes of Ryan Cresswell, Christian Dailly, Bilel Mohsni and Barry Corr, whilst Richie’s opposition line-up includes ex-Shrimper Anthony Wordsworth and former Cardiff skipper Darren Purse.
And the referee? None other than former Southend midfielder and current Millwall star Ryan Leonard.
“I would love to play in the game but it’s a difficult one for me because I can’t risk getting in jured,” says the 29-year-old, who made 264 appearances for the Shrimpers before joining Sheffield United in 2017.
“But I was never going to miss it. I knew Barks from when I was a young pro at Plymouth, and then when I went on trial to Southend he was already there.
Influence
“I was 18, moving six hours away from home, getting thrown in at the deep end. He completely took me under his wing. We ended up living together and got really, really close.
“He was like an older brother to me. We used to go out and drink together, go for coffees and meals. At the training ground we’d always be together.
“There were ten years between us but we just clicked.
He looked after me, showed me the ropes and any success I’ve had in my career is partly down to him.
“Have I reffed before? Never, but my cousin is a referee in National League South and my grandad has done it as well. Hopefully they’ll give me a few pointers!”
In another curious subplot, Richie’s 19-year-old son Charlie – a first-year pro at League One side Charlton Athletic – will also play for the opposition.
“The game was initially slated for the summer of 2020 but Covid meant it kept getting postponed,” explains Evans.
“It would have been a lot more raw back then, but time has passed and maybe it will be more of a celebration than a memorial. I hope so, especially for his family. “The saddest part for all of us was knowing that Barks had left Demi behind. He was a doting father who’d travel huge distances to make sure he could spend time with her. It was gut-wrenching thinking about her.
“But she’s 16 now, and I believe she is doing okay. She’s coming to the game and it will be wonderful for her to see how well loved and respected her dad was.”
For Richie, too, time has eased the pain.
“When it first happens, you have these very strong, strange waves of grief coming over you,” he explains.
“You don’t know how big they’re going to be, how often it will happen and how much they’re going to affect you.
“Over two-and-a-half years, those waves become smaller and less painful. They’re still there, still very difficult. There are still times when I think ‘I must give him a call and tell him about that’.
“It’s had a massive effect on my family, and obviously on Demi. But we’re at a stage now where we are making more of an effort to try and do things to highlight the issue and play a part in ensuring that this doesn’t happen to other families. That’s what this game is about.
“As a group we’re trying to use our influence to say to people: If you’re going through something it’s okay to speak to people and it’s okay to not be okay.”
‘A Match for Barks’ is next Saturday, May 28, at Roots Hall (3pm). Tickets are priced at £5 for adults and £1 for concessions.
They can be purchased from the Shrimpers Trust website: www.shrimperstrust.co.uk.
Money raised goes to SECE Mind.
