COURAGE and fearlessness. Two words easily associated with the FA Cup, symbols of our lionhearted risk-takers who stop at nothing to break down the barriers.
Appropriate then that one of the stories of the competition thus far boasts an underdog of their own.
Openly gay and one of the driving forces behind the rise of Hartley Wintney, the FA Cup is a cakewalk for Luke Tuffs compared to his battle to make it as a respected coach in the game still desperately lacking in pioneers fighting from the front.
His Combined Counties League side are on a roll. Not only winning their seventh league game on the bounce on Tuesday night against promotion rivals Ashford Town, but the Row are into the third qualifying round after beating Step 3 Merthyr Town away from home. Next, it’s Eastbourne Borough of the National League South.
Worries? Not for someone who has has had to put in the hard yards just to be accepted for who he is.
“I remember turning up to Camberley Town as a 16-year-old and I was way off the pace,” he told The NLP. “Managers Eric Howard and Mike Hatton sat me down in the stand and said ‘Luke, you’re not good enough, but we like having you around’.
“I used to sit on the bench all over the place, just watching what was going on, listening to what was being said, learning and maybe nicking 20 minutes here and there.
“By the time I was 20, Eric said: ‘Tuffs, you are the worst player I have ever seen’. Brilliant I thought. ‘But you have a brain – do you fancy being my assistant or our water boy – or a general gofer?’ I jumped at the chance!”
Not just a battle to be tolerated on the pitch, it’s clear. He came out in football circles when he was 16, confiding in his team-mates after gaining some much needed Dutch courage.
“One night I got drunk with the players who had taken me on a club night out with them. There was a group of women in the corner who appeared to be chatting me up. One of the lads said go for it. To my sober self’s horror, drunk me decided to say I’ve got a boyfriend and decide to show pictures of him on my phone to everyone to prove it!
“As you can imagine, I was quite sheepish at training on the Tuesday night, but the lads were good as gold and I never had any problems. It was then that I thought it might not actually be an issue.”
It’s a poorly kept secret that football changing rooms are either the best place in the world to work, or the worst. Fit in and you’re flying as you make friends for life. Don’t, and it can be more intimidating than your class teacher’s pet being forced to suffer a PE lesson at school.
But as a key part of managers Dan Brownlie and Antony Millerick’s management team, the former Godalming and Cove defender has never felt more at home.
“It’s ruthless at the best of times dressing rooms, it doesn’t matter who you are,” the 28-year-old said. “I get lots of banter at Hartley but I give as good as I get. It’s never malicious so nobody ever goes over the line. I get no worse than anybody else. I am aware that others that aren’t as used to the environment might not see it as banter as some people’s idea of banter is abuse to someone else.
“One of our players, Joe Paris, who is a good friend of mine, said the other day that being gay I had a disadvantage in getting the respect of players over a straight coach and that I’d done well to win the dressing room over. It sounds bad, but I wouldn’t actually disagree.”
His sexuality may not have held him back so far as he forges a career as a top class coach, but there have been issues faced on the pitch.
Not content with his heady Saturday commitments, Tuffs plays an active role at London Titans on Sunday afternoons, one of the capital’s gay-friendly football clubs.
Like Stonewall, the former world champions, the Richmond-based team entered a mainstream league in 2014. It hasn’t been without its problems.
“All my experiences in senior football have been positive,” he adds. “Sutton Common Rovers gave me my first job when I got back from coaching in America. They knew I was gay from my previous stint working with their reserves and if anything they were quite protective of me.
“Sunday football, though, is slightly different,” he revealed. “I’ve been spat on and threatened to be stabbed among other things. I play for the Titans which provide somewhere for LGBT players to play if they aren’t comfortable in generic football. Our first team entered the Sportsman League and within a few weeks some of the abuse had been unbelievable. Still, we beat the team that spat on me 3-2, so that’s a start!”
It’s motivation more than anything. Step 5 football isn’t without it’s social issues and talking publically about a subject still seen as one of football’s final taboos remains, for Tuffs, a risk.
He confessed: “I am concerned about speaking but will it be negative for me? There’s only one way to find out!
“I would love to help other gay people in the game. As a teenager if I had older people in football that were successful and ‘out’ it would have been a huge confidence builder. I know so many players and coaches who are gay, including many higher up the Pyramid, but they all say it would be impossible for them to come out. Hopefully by me doing this it will help them and others in a small way.
“I guess we will see more higher level footballers coming out when they feel they are in a safe place. I enjoy jokes with my lads a lot, but there could be others who are horrified by the thought of that and as long as that’s in the game they’ll never come out.
“It could be that they are worried that if they come out as a player, a manager that could potentially sign them might be homophobic and decide ‘no thanks’.
“Or as a manager, what about the board? Perhaps the opportunity to get shortlisted for a big job could be scuppered by the prejudice of a chairman. Or as a coach, maybe that academy job you were made for might be blocked by an Academy manager that knows you’re gay. They’re all ifs, buts and maybes, but they are certainly things that go through your mind. Football has got quite a way to go.”
